There I sat in the quiet confines of a quaint little farm just outside of Brisbane, Australia in a town called Beerwah (most commonly known for its incredible zoo as well as home to the late Steve Irwin.)
Initially, I came in with the idea to escape for a few weeks to a world I knew absolutely nothing about. And to help care for a 10-month-old little dude by the name of Jasper.
My first few days on Blackwattle were cruisy to say the very least. Emma, Mark, and Jasper left me and two wonderful Dutchies (Lisa & Marius) to tend to the farm as they hit the coast to have a much needed holiday.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t take a couple of days to adjust to this cool, little world I had immersed myself in, so I was grateful to have the time to myself to do so.
Slow and beautiful. Those are the two best describing words that come to mind when I think about my start on Blackwattle.
Then came Jasper. Teething, on the brink of walking, and absolutely non-stop…Jasper kept me busy from sun-up to sundown.
Although it had only been a week since I stepped foot on the serene, dusty, “earthy” smelling Blackwattle Farm, my sense of self, understanding of child-rearing, and level of patience did about 10 somersaults.
I felt this pit of anxiousness in my stomach at nearly all hours of the day as Jasper got into anything and everything…and was screechy as all hell.
Is this how motherhood feels? I’m honestly still trying to get to the root of it, but that’s easier said than done, hey?
The silver lining in all of this is that as the days passed, I started to feel more and more connected with myself and the unfamiliar environment I was in. I got seriously comfortable with being so freakin’ uncomfortable.
On top of that, I started to better understand the things that I want for my own future self; including what I picture my family as, how I want to raise my children and the type of life I hope to one day have.
Throwing myself head first into the deep end of someone else’s life has been “holy shit, I want to go back” scary.
However, it’s really helped me to grasp all the elements involved in relationships, being a mama, running a business, and still having time to take care of and love yourself. Talk about gaining some fresh, first-hand perspective.
It’s mind-blowing to think that all of this went down a mere two weeks into my 4-month “tour de soul”. I feel so overwhelmingly lucky.
G’Day for now & keep evolving!